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Intersect Community - Beverly Hills, That's Where I want to Be...
Article
Beverly Hills, That's Where I want to Be...
Discerning My Calling in Youth Ministry
Steve Argue and Dave Livermore
I want to live a life like that
I want to be just like a king
Take my picture by the pool
Because I’m the next big thing…
– Weezer
It’s tempting to look. Just peak. See what’s out there. Check to see what we might be “worth” to another church or group. A little experience and a little know-how make us marketable and we start wondering if God might be “calling” us elsewhere. Been there? We sure have.
How can anyone blame us for looking? You only need to go to a few youth ministry sites to get caught up in a youth ministry fantasy where the next church has the sr. pastor who’s Jesus, an elder board who cares about teenagers, an amazing budget, the perfect youth room, and of course, kids that only desire to grow deeper in their walk with God. It’s a perfect fit. It’s where I want to be. Oops. I mean it’s where I’m CALLED!
We might be called. But before we let the fantasy take us too far down the road, maybe our dreaming is a more of a sign of where we are now that of where we need to be moving. So let’s ask ourselves these questions:
Am I tired?
When we’re tired, sometimes our decisions are more focused on getting out and getting rest than having much to do with “calling”. Youth workers are known for burning the candle at both ends with ministry, family, school, and the “other” categories that came with our job descriptions. Making decisions about calling in the midst of fatigue is not a wise idea.
Maybe the first step is to get some rest. This could be a simple as sleeping in tomorrow morning. It might be the most spiritual thing you’ll do all week. A bigger step might be to take a day off, better a week and allow you the chance to re-charge. If you need to, get out of town. The church in the rearview mirror might be the best way to disconnect and truly rest. After you rest, then you can continue your search for God’s calling. You may find it brings you right back to the current church you truly love.
Am I hurt?
Unfortunately, many ministry moves come from painful circumstances when we’ve just had enough but we disguise it as “God moving us elsewhere”. If we’ve been hurt, we have an responsibility to confront the issues, not only for our own sake but for the sake of our sheep. This may mean bringing in a trusted elder and carefully following the pathway of Matthew 18. Our spirit must always be one that desires reconciliation over protest. And if this isn’t possible, we must do all we can to leave well. Many impressionable eyes are watching and we’ll teach as much in our actions as in our mid-week lessons.
Am I tempted?
The Christian community has done a great job using “calling”, “fit” and “being led” as ways to mask our desires. We all have desires and we believe these desires can be God-given. If we’re honest however, our desires can get tainted with our quest to prove ourselves, feed our egos, or satisfy our quest for recognition. Everyone can’t be called to a bigger ministry, or a cooler part of the country. Leading a certain sized ministry has less to do with success and more to do with gifting. A youth worker in a small youth ministry can do a better job pastoring than some in larger ministries. Somehow we have to re-think the status symbols in youth ministry.
Bottom line–Be careful. Comparing our current realities with our dreamy futures is comparing apples to oranges. Regardless of whether we stay or go, the risk must fall on the shepherd, not the sheep. We must do whatever it takes to ensure the best care for our students and their families. This is the heart of true calling.
Before we do anything, a first step might be to take our restlessness to a trusted community, friend, or mentor. We might start with, “This is how I’m feeling. Can you help me work this through?” Before we look for a change in ministries, let’s ask what must change in us.
Excerpt from Group Magazine July/August 2006